個人檔案THIS WORLD IS A CRUEL PL...相片部落格清單更多  |  工具 說明 |
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21 August MOTIVES.what r our motives for doing the things we do so carelessly?
there's never an answer for anything.
although if anyone of u feel as though the answer to this lies within you,
let all who wish to have the answer know.
the word motive is a complicated and difficult word to analyze,
not even i have the solution to what drives us to act on things we know
are going to hurt people around us.
maybe one day if we grow the desire to create a formular
that contains the power to eliminate such a disease.
tha is exactly what it is! A FREAKIN DISEASE.
It kill, it destroys, not just the mind but the body also,
but there are those of us who enjoy inflicting such pain and anguish
on those so close to us, or there's those of us who constantly repeat these mistakes
and still go back for more even knowing the consequinces
of such acts, so therefore we must need salvation. 20 August APOLOGIES.I NEED TO APOLOGISE FOR SUCH SADDEST METERIAL
WITHIN MY SPACE.
I AM NOT A CARBON COPY OF THE MELONCOLLIE BLOGS
THAT YOU ALL READ HERE.
I SIMPLY WRITE WHAT I AM UNABLE TO SPEAK AND
EXPRESS IN REALITY
SO THIS IS MY WAY OF EXPRESSING EMOTIONS THAT
NO ONE USUALLY TAKES TIME OUT TO CARE FOR.
YOU ARE ALL WONDERFUL AND LIFE REALLY ISN'T AS BAD AS IT MAY SOMETIMES
SEEM. 4 THE **** OF IT.JUST TYPING FOR THE **** OF IT.
MY SITUATION ON NO DIRECTION
HAD IT, NOW IT'S BEEN REMOVED FROM MY OPTIONS
DO YOU WISH FOR ME TO REVEAL WHAT THE HELL I AM GOIN ON ABOUT?
WELL......
MY HOPE WAS TO ONE DAY BECOME A NURSE
*THAT DREAM WAS SNATCH RUDELY FROM UNDERNEITH ME, COST AT TAFE $7000
*I AM NOT A FREAKIN MILLIONAIRE! AND CANNOT AND WILL NOT APPLY FOR A LOAN
*NXT OPTION, CHILD STUDIES, HA HA HA LOL. TAFE $3000
* NO ****** MONEY! "DIDN'T I JUST SAY I HAVE NOT THAT KIND OF CASH", NOR WILL I DO THE LOAN THING
I WAS FORCED TO LEAVE SCHOOL WHEN I WAS YOUNG AFTER YEAR 7, THEN I DID AN ADULT COURSE FOR YR 9 AND 10
SO I ONLY RECIEVED A YR 10 CERT, SO I DO NOT HAVE AN OP TO GET INTO UNI!
SO LOOKS LIKE MY LAST OPTION I'LL HAVE TO GO WITH...
WHICH IS, GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TO DO YR 11 AND 12, AND THEREFORE I WILL FAIL... BECAUSE I SEEM TO BE A PRO AT
SUCH THINGS AS FAILING
FAILURE IS MY TALENT, MY GIFT.
WELL ENOUGH OF THAT ****, LETS ENJOY LIFE.
DESIRED, NOT. If u can handle the shit i write, let me know.
there's a little more i'd like to say but at this point in time i am unable to let inspiration within me free.
i wish i had more of a possitive outlook on life and the issues that linger along with it but,
i don't think that i do.
apart from my beautiful boys who are very much apart of me,
i just hope that they will not be as saddest as myself, and that they will embrace the fullness of how life should be lived.
My husband is my air at the moment and i hope that he doesn't read this and think i'm being over dramatic, (it is not as that)
But for everything else that comes along with the purchase of life that we don't actually ask for,
i have not desired, i have not wished to breathe for.
My first breath was not of my own choice, i did not ask for exisistance, but of course now,
I do not ask to die. 18 August BEAUTIFULConfusion is an understatement when it comes down to the crunch,
why is there so many choices, decissions and paths to take, to choose?
how would it feel to die?
Is death something to look forward to, to run towards? as most of us seem to do.
you ask, "how do most of us run towards the dim light death offers to us?"
The damage we continually inflict upon ourselves and one another,
through the highlights of the fantastic temporary satisfaction of alcohol and drugs,
and all that we think our bodies can afford to consume.
these awesome self abuse habits we feel we have the right to put ourselves through
are slowly but exceedingly succeeding in their destructive nature in lovingly destroying you.
therefore take a deep breath in and pray to whomever you wish that death is how you expected.
enjoy the repeated neglect, remain in your wishful thinking and your temporary enjoyment and satisfaction of your current life
soon, it will be gone.
it's beautiful. 26 July DEMOLITION LOVERS.Hand in mine, into your icy blues And then I'd say to you we could take to the highway With this trunk of ammunition too I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things we put each other through and I would drive on to the end with you A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full And I feel like there's nothing left to do But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running But this time, I mean it I'll let you know just how much you mean to me As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of everything I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade, and nights grow And we go cold Until the end, until this pool of blood Until this, I mean this, I mean this Until the end of... I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know how much you mean As days fade, and nights grow And we go cold But this time, we'll show them We'll show them all how much we mean As snow falls on desert sky Until the end of every... All we are, all we are Is bullets I mean this [x4] As lead rains, will pass on through our phantoms Forever, forever Like scarecrows that fuel this flame we're burning Forever, and ever Know how much I want to show you you're the only one Like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun And as we're falling down, and in this pool of blood And as we're touching hands, and as we're falling down And in this pool of blood, and as we're falling down I'll see your eyes, and in this pool of blood I'll meet your eyes, I mean this forever 21 July PERFECTION ISN'T POSSIBLE SO I GAVE UP TRYING.Making the decission
Will we decide on what we are or who we were Sposed to be?
Trusting the antisapation on what is, what we Hope for, will we fall and continue getting up Again and hope that we don't fall again?
Or should we choose to fall and stay where we Can just live and just be?
If my path was determined for me than let it Be as though it were.
Life feels as though we are forever trying so Hard to acheive the impossible and still there
Seems to be no-one who stays faithful when we Are unfaithful, who loves us even when we do Do not love.
We long to be capable of perfection but Perfection isn't possible so i gave up trying, i Just want to live, and just be.
emo_tionalbeautyqueen.
20 July IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.We may not get back what we had, what I threw away
But you know I would do anything, anything you say I'd cross a thousand miles of broken glass on my hands and knees I would crawl if for a moment we could cease hostilities But it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don’t know where to start again Now the dream is over, believe me I’m all down That you always seem to come alive when I am not around And it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don’t know where to start again Now the dream is over, believe me I’m all down That you always seem to come alive when I am not around And it seemed like such a good idea at the time, such a very very good idea at the time. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong either way let's start again I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong I don’t know where to start… again
To my beautiful husband, who i truly love and adore I will yearn your trust again and will never again hurt you I love you...
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